My friends want a wedding shower, but not me


DEAR CAROLYN: I’m getting married in six months. I’m getting pressure from friends who want to throw me a wedding shower. It’s really not my thing. Is this kind of pomp and circumstance required?

Don’t Want a Wedding Shower

DEAR DON’T WANT: If you wake up one morning with the head of a marzipan dove in your bed, then I urge you to contact the authorities.

Pressure to throw you a party you don’t want, and they’re not relatives … I do wonder what they’re thinking.

Regardless, nothing is “required.” If you’re certain, then you stick to your no-thanks without apology.

The answer gets more flexible when you throw in the variables you don’t talk about here, such as, why they want so badly to do this for you. Do you, for example, do nice things for others but make it hard for people to do nice things for you?

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